It’s me again, Augie Fash.

We’re now in Kansas City, Missouri, showing everyone some yoyo love.

Transcontinental Travel, Sideshow Style:

I just recently got transferred to Ozzfest, where I ditched the swank tour bus.

Fortunately, us performers have got a new ride. It’s a candidate for MTV’s Pimp My Ride. It’s got soul. It’s got heart. It’s got a broken AC. It’s also got a 13 foot albino python with two unfortunate woodland rabbits.

Introducing:
The Prison Bus

Our tour manager bought some scraps of metal, and made makeshift bunkbeds in the back of the bus. Bunkbeds mean boxspring mattresses. When cruising in our 20,000 pound projectile, we sometimes hit potholes. I then jet from the mattress and into the soft cushion of a cold metal roof. But it’s ok; I want to be Evil Knievel.

In the morning, I don’t need Folger’s liquid caffeine. I don’t need energy drinks. I don’t need a hot shower. I need to fling my body into a roof at 60 miles an hour. ;o)

Superhero Banner!

In other news, with the help the coolest yoyo store around, Ozzfest is now sporting a custom painted yoyo banner at every tour date.

Notice the harrowing molten lava, the cape of flair, and most importantly, the steroid-infused Herculean legs. Yoyoing has gone hardcore, and YoYoNation is taking you there.

Performer Spotlight:

Throughout the next week, I’ll be introducing you guys to the Sideshow’s performers.

First up is Little Miss Firefly.

She’s the shortest performer in the world. Her act involves strolling along on glass shards, leaping onto sharp objects, and breathing fire. All in all, she’s much more hardcore than I.

Here she is training for basketball season with Andre the Giant Part 2.

Here she’s shown hanging out in San Francisco, where unfortunately, she became afflicted with a short bout of altitude sickness.

Peace out folks, and keep tuning in! =o)
Augie

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The Warped Tour Sideshow just got cancelled, but! Luckily, I’ve been transferred to Ozzfest, where I’ll be performing alongside Jack Ringca.

So go check out Ozzfest.com and come check out Jack and I’s b-boy breakdance onstage battle of awesome. =o)

Augie

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Heya amigos, and welcome to Warped Tour Blog #1/2.

I’m Augie Fash and I’ll be your safari camera man for the evening.

I’ve been demoing on the Vans Warped Tour for the past week. So far, the Brothers Grim sideshow has raised hell through California, Nevada, Colorado, and New Mexico. We’ve yet to be publically banned from a single state, but I’m still holding out hope. Our sideshow has a sword swallower, glass walker, fire breather, burlesque dancer, and… a saucy yoyo kid?

I showed up in Pomona expecting a stinky broken down Chevy Astro Van. Luckily, there was no need for Febreeze and AMPM air-fresheners.
Instead, the sleek leather furnishings of a rock star tourbus awaited. Think of it as 500 square feet of MTV cribs, but switch the Cristal with Diet Coke.

Here’s George the Giant, hoping to earn enough money to nab a 401k.
For a mere two dollars, you too can staple-gun George to aid his cause. =o)

That’s it for now, but I’ll make sure to keep all of you fine folks updated. =oD

Augie

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