Tour Blog 2: Ozzfest!
It’s me again, Augie Fash.
We’re now in Kansas City, Missouri, showing everyone some yoyo love.
Transcontinental Travel, Sideshow Style:
I just recently got transferred to Ozzfest, where I ditched the swank tour bus.
Fortunately, us performers have got a new ride. It’s a candidate for MTV’s Pimp My Ride. It’s got soul. It’s got heart. It’s got a broken AC. It’s also got a 13 foot albino python with two unfortunate woodland rabbits.
Introducing:
The Prison Bus
Our tour manager bought some scraps of metal, and made makeshift bunkbeds in the back of the bus. Bunkbeds mean boxspring mattresses. When cruising in our 20,000 pound projectile, we sometimes hit potholes. I then jet from the mattress and into the soft cushion of a cold metal roof. But it’s ok; I want to be Evil Knievel.
In the morning, I don’t need Folger’s liquid caffeine. I don’t need energy drinks. I don’t need a hot shower. I need to fling my body into a roof at 60 miles an hour. ;o)
Superhero Banner!
In other news, with the help the coolest yoyo store around, Ozzfest is now sporting a custom painted yoyo banner at every tour date.
Notice the harrowing molten lava, the cape of flair, and most importantly, the steroid-infused Herculean legs. Yoyoing has gone hardcore, and YoYoNation is taking you there.
Performer Spotlight:
Throughout the next week, I’ll be introducing you guys to the Sideshow’s performers.
First up is Little Miss Firefly.
She’s the shortest performer in the world. Her act involves strolling along on glass shards, leaping onto sharp objects, and breathing fire. All in all, she’s much more hardcore than I.
Here she is training for basketball season with Andre the Giant Part 2.
Here she’s shown hanging out in San Francisco, where unfortunately, she became afflicted with a short bout of altitude sickness.
Peace out folks, and keep tuning in! =o)
Augie
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